What is menopause, symptoms, coping, treatments, and how it affects your sexual desire.
You were a woman with normal sexual activity and desire. Menopause arrives and the desire disappears suddenly, without warning, your partner continues as usual … and what the previously pleasant now becomes painful …
What is menopause?
Menopause is the stage of a woman’s life characterized by the end of menstruation and by the beginning of the stage known as the climacteric, the transition between the fertile period and old age.
Hormonal changes during menopause
The first thing we must comment on is how desire is produced on a physical level (as there is a psychological part that influences and has a very relevant role). Desire is conditioned by sex hormones.
Perimenopause is around 45-50 years. During this period the levels of testosterone, estrogens, and progesterone vary irregularly causing mood swings and discomfort
When we enter the menopausal stage, from the age of 50, these hormonal levels have dropped, remaining lower as 50% of women suffer from a decrease in sexual desire.
The sexual desire during menopause
Some women may experience loss of sexual desire or decreased sex drive during menopause: this desire or feeling is less frequent and sexual energy is reduced or disappears.
This problem does not concern some women, but it can affect the sexuality or relationship of others.
Below you will see some of the physical and psychological reasons behind the loss or decrease of sexual appetite.
Physical reasons for the loss of sexual desire during the menopause
The lack of sexual desire may be due, among other things, to hormonal changes that occur in women during menopause.
So this hormonal change during menopause causes some physical symptoms.
Some of these symptoms that can appear:
- Osteoporosis is which bones are thin and are more likely to break.
- Feeling the frequent need to urinate.
- Hot flashes
- night sweats
- The drop in estrogen levels
- Loss of the sexual desire
- Pain during sex
- Vaginal changes:
- Increased dryness
- Loss of elasticity
- Loss of sensation
- Reduction of the vaginal canal
These vaginal changes are usually caused by the so-called vaginal atrophy, a consequence of the drop in estrogen.
When sex is accompanied by pain, it is logical that the desire and interest in sex begin to be lost.
In fact, pain during penetration can lead to vaginismus, a condition in which the vaginal muscles tighten involuntarily due to the anticipation of pain.
Of course, each woman is different, each one of them suffers it in her own way, some cases suffer from it severely with great general discomfort, and others that the symptoms are mild and almost non-existent.
The treatment of the loss of sexual desire due to physical reasons
See an expert
The first thing you should do is talk to your doctor for advice or treatment if you feel pain during intercourse or masturbation or dryness and changes in the vagina.
Your doctor may prescribe some local or systemic estrogen treatment to treat and alleviate some of the changes caused by menopause.
Systemic hormonal treatments consist of pills, patches, or gels to treat the entire body.
The local treatments include topical creams for the vaginal area.
Systemic estrogen has the advantage of treating other symptoms of menopause like hot flashes and night sweats.
Systemic estrogen treatments are given at a higher dose than local ones.
Use anti-dryness lubrication
Many women find immediate relief from dryness when applying vaginal lotions and feel more comfortable and safer during intercourse and/or masturbation thanks to increased lubrication.
You will find a wide variety of moisturizers in any pharmacy or online store.
The ideal is a water-based moisturizer, the most natural to increase moisture and maintain vaginal PH.
Practice Kegel exercises
Kegel exercises are a natural and healthy way to regain your sexual appetite.
They are gentle exercises with several incredible benefits for women during and after menopause.
Practicing these exercises increases blood circulation from the body to the tissues of the vagina causing better natural lubrication.
Additionally, Kegel exercises improve your overall pelvic health by reducing the risk of incontinence and uterine prolapse.
With just 5 minutes of daily exercise, you will be able to notice all these advantages.
Use intimate massagers in your sex life
Sex toys can be very useful to increase desire during menopause.
Intimate massagers help increase circulation to the vaginal tissues so that greater natural lubrication and sensitivity are generated
They are very practical to rediscover your body alone and as a complement to other solutions, such as topical medications or sexual therapies.
You can also use them in bed with your partner to add more joy and variety to your sex life, which could also have the advantage of increasing the desire for more sex. This is how you both win!
Talk with your partner
it is essential to talk about it with your partner, if there is one, share how you feel, what you feel like sexually, what you need from your partner to feel good, etc.
It’s important to understand you and thus avoid pressure behaviors and above all not to do anything that you do not like or that causes pain or discomfort.
Psychological reasons for loss of sexual desire during the menopause
The emotional changes that often accompany the hormonal imbalances of menopause, such as anxiety and depression, can lead to loss of libido and decreased sexual activity.
Some women have the feeling of not being able to control their body during this stage and are aware of some changes, such as increased abdominal fat, hot flashes, dry skin, or fear of urine leakage, especially during sex.
The fact that your body (and especially the vagina) is changing can affect your perception of yourself and your connection to your sexuality.
Relationship problems could also appear during this stage.
You feel that your partner does not understand you or is not able to empathize with you and the changes in the body.
In addition, he is also at an age where he could suffer from erectile dysfunction, which together with your own loss of sensation, makes sex less exciting and desire is affected.
Solutions to deal with the psychological reasons:
Don’t be afraid to say what you like and what you don’t like
In menopause we usually know what we want during sex, don’t be shy.
Encourage your partner by telling him what you like best, and if there’s something you don’t, let him know and ask him to slow down.
The key is in communication, and sex is usually much better when both partners talk about what makes them feel good.
Practice with intimate massagers
It helps you to get to know your body by rediscovering what makes you feel sexual pleasure,
Loss of sexual desire during menopause can sometimes be due to a lack of confidence during sex with your partner.
One way to regain that security is to become intimate with yourself. Do it without haste, and go to a sexologist to help.
Whether it is for physical or psychological reasons (or both) that cause your loss of desire, it is important to understand that it does not have to be permanent.
Make an appointment with your doctor today, and before you know it, you’ll be having sex like before, or even better!
Coping with the symptoms of menopause
How to cope with hot flashes?
The following can help you cope with hot flashes:
- Hypnosis or cognitive behavioral therapy
- Mental activities such as meditation
How to cope with fine bones?
The following can help you cope with fine bones:
- If you have or are likely to have osteoporosis, you may need to take medicine to help strengthen your bones.
- Do exercises where you support your own body weight, such as walking for 20 to 30 minutes a day.
- take calcium, vitamin D, or both. You may have a blood test to check the levels in your blood.
- Maintain a healthy weight.
Vaginal laser after menopause
Right now you during menopause have two options. One can continue as you are and fill your shopping cart with products that give you more head-warming than satisfaction, or look for an effective and definitive solution that helps me improve your sexual life.
The vaginal laser is one of the best options to face the effects of menopause as it will make you have sexual control again in your life.
Your next goal should be reactivating the collagen production of your body naturally and thus recover the tissue of the vagina with sessions of vaginal diode laser (non-ablative).
This will improve the laxity of the tissue and lubrication so you will reduce the uncomfortable leaks of urine, stinging, and itching.
Thanks to science and technology we have the opportunity to take a trip back in time, to feel each I find it unique, to feel like a twenty-year-old again, but with more experience and with the person you love.
Having menopause is not synonymous with old age, nor does it imply leaving sex aside, having menopause is another stage of life, which will bring other good things, just as menstruation came to allow me to live motherhood, menopause will mark a before and after in my sex life.
The positive side of menopause
We must not forget that sex during menopause has a very positive side.
There is no menstruation with no menstruation there is no longer a need for contraception so you have no worry of pregnancy (but we must continue to monitor with STDs and STIs).
At this age, you will be in a stable relationship and if there are children, they have probably already become independent.
Therefore, it can be a great time to enjoy sex either alone or with someone and discover new ways of experiencing sexuality.
Pink space suggests this amazing guidebook about menopause: